Toxic Parenting: The Obscure Issue.

By Kainat Mohsin

Image courtesy to Adiyanthy Velpandian.

Sadly, few people are aware of this issue that has plagued our society at large. But surprisingly, many live under the shadow of it. But why talk about this? Is this something linked to physical injury? Yes. Shockingly, it is. Not directly, I agree, but that can't rule out the fact that people who have lived through toxic parenting are more likely to be abusive both emotionally and physically to their offspring. And if this subject is left unnoticed, it can further inflate the psychological problems that sit at its roots and choke a healthy mind.

Parents who are afflicted by this condition (referring to this as a condition and not as a happening will suffice as then it would do justice to the children living through it) is, in all literal sense, toxic.

Everybody deserves the right to be treated equally and respectfully irrespective of gender, caste, color race, and most important to the current topic of discussion, age. We all have talked and know about the repercussions of bullying and bullying children reside in this classification too.

Toxic parents refrain to treat their children respectfully and they do not apologize after making mistakes. They harm their children emotionally and tend to be possessive.

Let us talk about the What, Why, and When of Toxic Parenting.

 

The WHAT of Toxic Parenting

 

Toxicity in people can be spotted can in their demeaning and judging mentality. They make others feel awful about themselves and try to "get-them down" to feel their (the toxic person) own self-worth. If a toxic person comes to knows that he/she/others are being toxic, but by the time realization hits, it's too late.

When these signs begin to show in parents, it is called toxic parenting. They do not apologize to their children after doing something wrong and do not treat them with respect like any individual. By focusing only on their own need, they inflict long-term emotional damage upon their children, something which might takes years of psychological therapies to get back right.

The WHY of Toxic Parenting

Everything, whether pleasant or unpleasant, stems from a reason. The explanations of toxic parenting are ranging wide. Some people who have their own history of neglect and abuse, inflict it on their children. Alcohol dependency adds fuel to the fire. They believe that when they were treated the same way, so should their children.

But not all toxic parents have to have an unpleasant childhood. Some parents, who were too good for their own parents and were never reprimanded for their behavior, believe that they are the best and they can do no wrong. If such a spoilt attitude doesn't get addressed, it can lead to a sense of competition with the child in the parent's mind. This might sound absurd, but this is a pretty prominent reason in households with toxic parenting.

The WHEN of Toxic Parenting

A noticeable thing of toxic parenting can be seen when a child with toxic parents complain about the issue, he/she/other is chided, the most common phrases being, "that's not an issue," and "happens with everybody". They fail to understand that the psychological problem stemming from such noxiousness is very much a living, breathing difficulty, manifesting itself in low self-worth and a traumatic childhood.

Other noticeable things are:

• They have a decided goal for their child's accomplishment, often academic, and when fail to complete it, they feel ashamed and taunt them.

• They ridicule and belittle their kids.

• They are disinterested in conversations with their children, hence the child stops connecting with them.

• Instead of their kids', their own needs are a matter of prime importance.

• They see their child as an object, to nurture their emotions and aid them, possibly financially.

 

The REPERCUSSIONS of Toxic Parenting

Due to the toxicity in the important relationship between parent and child, the child becomes closed. He/she/others will not be able to open up about their emotions easily. The childhood, which has to be filled with hope and joy, becomes a traumatic experience. The child will develop self-doubt, and it takes a long time to overcome that. The damaged self-worth won’t let the child have a stable mind. Teen and adult offspring of toxic parents may end up committing suicide.

 

The main aim of this post was to aware people of this issue so that one day, God forbid, you come across a person who is grasping at straws because of this the situation, you know and you can help.

Kainat Mohsin